You read the title right, “your spouse cannot make you happy”. It’s a common misconception that we marry to make ourselves happier in life but before you go, allow me to shed some light on the matter. Commercialism has sent persons the message that you need to find someone that makes you happy and it’s not true. So does this mean you are to marry someone who makes you miserable all the days of your life? I mean, my husband certainly makes my life better and has added to my joy immensely. What I’m saying is that, we shouldn’t be dependent on our spouses for our happiness. True joy comes from the inside. Two people who are genuinely happy people on their own do a much better job of adding to each others’ joy than two people who are dependent on each other for their happiness. That makes for a miserable situation. So we do not marry to make ourselves happier but to add to our joy.
So how do I propose that we go about this?
- Pursue a growing relationship with Christ who is the source of all true joy. Without Him, we can enjoy the pleasures of life but true joy will always evade us.
- Holistic Self-care: Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily activities and the increasing demands on our energy and time that we forget to take a step back and look at what we’re doing to ourselves. We may find ourselves being burnt out and tired, void of energy and that truly takes a toll on our emotions and no matter what your spouse does, they can’t fix that, you have to know it for yourself and know when to stop and take a break, get some rest. You have to know when to seek counsel for an issue that’s affecting you or if you’re depressed. Self-care also means taking holistic care of oneself, which means, eating well, exercising, nourishing your spiritual life, and nurturing your important relationships with others.
- Do more for others. The Word of God says “it is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). Giving to others, your spouse and children included, of your time and energy and resources; giving without expecting anything in return and for the sole purpose of making the others person’s life happier and more comfortable is, also a source of joy. Giving makes you a happier person.
You cannot depend on your spouse for these things. They can help motivate, remind and encourage but at the end of the day, it’s up to the choices you make about how you will live.
As you pursue these things, what you’ll find over time is that your marriage will become better and happier as you put these principles into practice. It will be two happy and joyful persons truly making a happy home. What do you think of my philosophy? Leave a comment below and don’t forget to subscribe!