Submit to who?

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Today I’m going to bring up a word that many modern women don’t like to hear…SUBMISSION. Submission has been viewed as a wife allowing her husband to think for her and control her life. She feels as though if she submits, she won’t be able to make decisions on her own. As a result, many modern women feel they do not need a boss. Our ears have been filled with negative views on the topic and quite frankly, if I were to go by the widely propagated views, I’d think submission was a bad thing.

Exciting news!

I have some wonderful and exciting news for us modern women; your husband is not your boss. When God created us male and female, he created woman from man but that doesn’t mean he is more important than woman but simply that woman is a part of him that needs to be cared for just like he cares for himself. The Bible gives men the command to love their wives as “Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it”. (Eph. 5:25)

So God created us to be equal as men and women but has given men the primary responsibility for being a leader and ensuring that his family is well taken care of. Someone has to be held accountable right? After sin entered the earth, God came looking and called for Adam, not Eve. I think there is some significance to that. The person God holds accountable in the family is the man of the household (no need and no use for women to fight the idea). There has to be some structure in the home as in any organization but it is not to be one that is an autocratic, “my way or the highway” kind of leadership but a gentle, loving and deliberate one.

The author Ellen White puts it nicely when she says “Eve was created from a rib taken from the side of Adam, signifying that she was not to control him as the head, nor to be trampled under his feet as an inferior, but to stand by his side as an equal, to be loved and protected by him.”

The how of submission

I believe the modern term for the submission mentioned in the Bible is respect. It’s not new. A man wants to feel valued, honored and affirmed. A man’s number one need is respect. I believe that wives really need to come to the place where they respect their husbands and value the mind God has given him. This submission/respect includes:

  • Valuing his opinions even if they are different from your own
  • Speaking well of him outside of his presence
  • Speaking nicely to him (even about unpleasant things)
  • Being grateful for what he does for the family
  • Representing him well before your children
  • Affirming his positive qualities

The most important thing here is that the man in your life is being led by God.  If God is the head of the man, it can only serve to strengthen his leadership in the family. And if any of you happen to be married to a man that does not have a relationship with God, then I encourage you to intercede on his behalf and ask God to lead him into that kind of relationship and pray that your husband will allow God permanently into his heart. Also remember that by your conduct, portraying a Christ like character in the home, you are also witnessing to your husband and many a husband has been won for the Lord in that way.

Now on to the husbands, it is alright to include your wife and children as appropriate in making decisions. Don’t become guilty of taking this submission thing too far. Allow your wife some degree of autonomy. A woman finds it easy to submit to a man who loves her, respects her individuality and values her qualities as a woman. Gentlemen, buckle up! I’m coming with a post for you!

Until next time, Blessings



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