Spoil your Spouse, Raise your Children


You heard it right! I hope the title of this article really grabbed your attention. So many of us are guilty of spoiling our children and attempting to raise our spouses when it should really be the other way around. Some of us spoil our children by neglecting to help them form sound characters, by lavishing them with too many gifts and by waiting on them hand and foot when they need to be learning to do things on their own. Then we ruin our marriages by attempting to raise our spouses. We try to do what their parents failed to so. We try to change them into how we would like them to be by  punishing them by our words and actions,  and quite frankly treat them like kids. Women tend to be guilty of this more often. The script needs to be flipped. I propose that for an ideal and  harmonious household, spouses must be spoiled and treated like royalty and children must be raised although treated quite nicely.

How can you spoil your spouse better?

We can spoil our spouses by:

  1.  making more time to be together (let it be clear that your spouse is a priority)
  2. giving more gifts
  3. doing more kind and unexpected gestures
  4. pampering each other (listen to what your apouse says or may complain about and surprise them by meeting the need) and
  5. saying more positive things to each other (a little praise is good)

Look at it this way, your children will hopefully one day gain independence and be gone and it will be you and your spouse again…alone. How much fun will that be? Nurture that relationship more than any other. Your spouse is a mature individual who can handle and actually craves this kind of attention. It will give your marriage a boost. As a plus, you will find this to be good for the children as well because they will see two happy parents loving each other and will see a picture of what God has in mind for them.

Raising, not spoiling the children

By raising our children, we’re talking about giving them what they need…and some wants…but not allowing them to feel the world revolves around their wants and must stop t0 fulfil them at all times (life isn’t like that). Children must learn delayed gratification and also to work for some of the things they want. As children are not yet mature, and their value system not fully developed, overindulging them can really ruin their characters; so please treat them nicely, meet their needs and show godly love and concern, but within boundaries.

Children also need to learn independence and should be allowed to do age appropriate tasks. Discipline them when needed and help them form sound characters.God will hold us accountable if we don’t nurture our children into useful citizens of this world and the next.

Love your family and treat every member well but ensure your priorities are right…Spoil your spouse, not your children.

What are your thoughts on the topic? Feel free to comment below.





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