How to change your husband

So yes it is possible that your husband can change. I’m not encouraging discontentment with the husband you have but I’ve definitely seen growth from good to great as I’ve grown in what I’ve shared below. This stuff is great! Here are the secrets to changing your husband.

1.       If you want a new husband , then he needs a new wife

The first thing we must do as wives is to shift the focus from our husbands to ourselves. Change yo’ attitude girl! It’s easy to fall into the “whiny trap”. “He doesn’t help around the house”, “He’s not affectionate enough”, “He’s not meeting my needs”…  STOP. Put on a new attitude. Stop complaining and focus on his strengths and what he’s doing right. Affirm his strengths.  Tell him what he’s doing that you appreciate. Be his #1 cheerleader. As he feels better about himself, his attitude towards you will also improve.

(Note: I’m not saying one should ignore violent and abusive behavior…Get help!)

2.       How about submission?

Are you hard-headed and always wanting your own way? Do you respect your husband as leader in your home? Do you speak well of him privately and before others or do you put him down with your attitude? I know it’s hard to have a respectful attitude when you don’t feel like it or you may not be receiving one back but it’s something we must do for the health of our homes. Proverbs 21:19 says that “it is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman.” If a man doesn’t have your respect, he’s not going to be a happy camper.

3.       Have a pure heart towards your husband

Psalm 55:18 says that “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.” What sins may you be harboring in your heart towards your husband. How do you feel towards him? Do you feel resentment, hatred, bitterness or anger? If we hold on to these things, God will not hear us. If you’re experiencing any of these, now is the time to confess it and ask God to create in you a clean heart and renew your spirit because there’s no moving forward without that.

4.       Ensure his sexual needs are met (and be enthusiastic about it!)

Sex is like a gourmet dessert for your husband. He desires it and craves it and salivates over it all day long. Don’t punish your man by denying him sex. Please don’t approach it with a “let’s get this over with attitude”. Sex is as important to him as cuddling and chatting on the couch are for you. He needs it in order to feel valued and he won’t like it if you’re not enthused. This sure is a matter for prayer as well and also some due diligence. Educate yourself on sex and take steps towards a very vibrant and loving sex life with your husband.  

5.       “Pray”, don’t nag

This may be the best piece of advice a Christian wife could ever receive. “There is a time to speak and a time not to speak and happy is the man whose wife can discern between the two” (Stormie Omartian). Some of us just don’t know when to stop! Please don’t be that nagging wife.  Pray about any concern you have and if God wills, state your case simply to your husband at the right place, and time and in a gentle, loving and respectful way and then continue praying about it. So that annoying habit he has that grates your nerves? Pray about it. His lack of tact? Pray about it. His lack of romance? Pray about it. The goal of prayer should not be to manipulate God or get your husband to do what you want. Pray for your husband as a total person, his spiritual life, occupation, fatherhood, values, sexuality and anything he may be going through or struggling with. Believe me, prayer will not only do wonders for your attitude but God will do a wonderful work in your husband’s life as well. Praying earnestly for your husband is one of the greatest acts of love you could ever do. You will begin to see him through God’s eyes. God will place a new and fresh love in your heart for him and as he responds to that love, your marriage will get sweeter and sweeter.

So there you have it! ‘How to change your husband’. Let me know how it goes in the comments below!

Love and Blessings


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